Wednesday, June 23, 2010

One of my relatives, an overtly affectionate middleaged Aunt, recently visited me..A very warm and cordial lady she is, as always, but my nerves knot up at her very sight because of the very many irritating habits that she has..the worst being kissing in the manner of spitting!!!

I warmly welcomed her but ensured I maintained a safe distance so that i dont land up to be her prey. She gets hyper when it comes to affection ....spewing,smooching and smudging her saliva on the face of her victim ,all in the name of a maternal kiss…Ruining my well combed, shampooed hair by continuously rubbing through it with her fingers as though I am her pet Pomeranian is another brutal act of love! And can you believe what happened on my wedding day? My reflection in the mirror told me that the beautician had done her job well. Reluctantly I bowed before my bounteous Aunt for her blessings….I knew this would happen and was extra cautious. But my very emotional Aunt ensured that she chinned me up and blessed me by passionately splodging the makeup on my face which was just out of the parlour with her damned saliva.In a jiffy her next spurt of affection made her comb her fingers through my well set hair which finally stood out like horns on either side....she grinned contentedly and proudly at all who watched the show much,very much to my embarrassment!!Thus i hate over affection!!

Colleagues peeping into my system ..that too at office when I am busy sorting out escalations…....on top of it asking questions like “Madam busy huh? Unfeelingly tugging at my hair clip or ear drops at that point of time inspite of knowing the tension coursing my veins.

Reading news paper is something which I do on a daily basis..please note, I read only the supplement..Imagine when you are curious to the core while reading the most hyped gossip, how disgusting it is to have someone peeping from above or from the side trying to read bits and pieces of it!.....the culprit usually will be my better half tweeting!!! I hate it!!!!

I love going on a vacation to my home town to eat good food and for meeting my dear and near ones..Thats when my mom tells me..”please ensure you meet so and so aunty and so and so uncle's daughter's wife..oops I meant daughter's cousin.."they enquired about sweet of them”!!
I agree it is very sweet of them to enquire but mom fails to realize that it is just a polite, customary, meaningless enquiry!! When I crave to relax and enjoy at my home she expects me to go meet people and give them that fake smile ..and usually the conversation with such people goes like this.....

Hello are you…where are u working these days
(I would have answered this question every time I met them)

The next one will be..Ooh my sister's son's kid works u know him???
Yes,yes(snide), it is very easy to find that sister's son's kid among 2 lakh people working across 5 different buildings at Bangalore)

And haven't you travelled yet?? That’s baaaad…my son went 5 times to Antartica and now he is in Switzerland on a new project..
(So?????? Good for him!!)

Sigh!!! I some how fake a headache to get out of that place before mom comes with another request to meet another family who falls under the similar category!!!
That is done......But the worst is yet to overanxious Mom gets visibly disturbed....she announces to all and sundry about this awful headache that tortures her dear girl.....My father is urged to fix an appointment with a doctor friend...paracetamols litter my room,"how do you feel" questions nearly drive me crazy!! Finally I get bundled into a doctor's clinic....So much for an overanxious Mamma...even when iam fit and fine!!

New people new likes new dislikes and it goes on..NO ESCAPE!!!!