Whining thoughts continue..

The year 2009 wasn’t too bad but yes,I did take a few bad roads, and did fall into some shallow pits ! Dame Luck saved me from formidable scenarios. Still I feel I should refrain from few routine tasks that I get caught up in!

-I will stop eating rice( God help me with this, I can't control when I see a platter of rice..sluurp) and reduce at least a kilo this year (trust me it isn’t easy)

-Will never mail anyone who writes in editorial columns, criticizing them even if I find the article futile.

-I will ensure that my wardrobe remains neat and tidy ( mission Impossible)

-I will never use hair drier daily and lose those existing ten locks I have now

- Reduce the decibel of my screechy tone and endeavor to add on a bit of bass to it.It probably may help people from complaining of headaches once I start off with my never ending conversations!!

-Will never trust colleagues

-Use Face book and Orkut sparingly and concentrate more on online courses at office (am lying. I can’t do that!!)

- Obey my better half to the last letter and be a very good pet cat ( this is just to please him ,if ever he reads this :)

-Attempt to read better books than Champak, Tinkle and Archies..I am sure it would help me sleep off faster than now!

-Resolve to wear less colorful and less fashionable clothes because I intend to be more mature and solemn in 2010. Sober shades may probably go well with my new profile.

-I will blog more often at home and not at office

- Definitely keep in touch with my friends whom I miss out to call back often. Sorry guys .I won’t repeat that again!!

- Will neither tease any one nor indulge in a running commentary about any person of interest seen at the malls or busy streets

-I will gossip less ( I’m lying again!!)
-I Will not lie (oops I already did)

I have hell loads to change spaced out from these ,but that can still wait as I have more years ahead of me!!! 2010 is in precedence at the moment :)

I wish it’s going to be a good year with new hopes and many surprises and yes loads of happiness and fun for you and for me !!! Cheers!!!

We recently bought a Canon D500..." This equipment can make u look prettier, fairer and may be at times like Julia Roberts" the most convincing statement made by my brother (who has been flattered by orkutters to believe that he is a professional photographer) and I fell flat for it.

Upon his verdict I purchased this 2kg black "puttu kutti" (something like a long cylindrical vessel used to make Steamcakes in kerala)

Caressed every minute with a wipe, covered in the softest muslin available, regular checks on whether it has rashes(scratches) and what not!!
Well,the new entrant was the apple of our eyes and the mewling new born next door would have been jealous!! Iam Sure!!!

I sort of felt the cam’s excitement to be at our place and imagined that it may be craving to write an autobiography about its looming 5 star life style!

The stuff seems to be pretty tricky and can be used only if there is something 'above' for the user! Exactly... you are right. Brains ,Talent and skill in photography!

As and when we entered home with Canon baby we rearranged the décor of my room,I wore my new salwar and applied thick kajal, lipstick and all the other accessories I had, all set for photo session. I struck a pose even before he could insert the batteries as my excitement knew no bounds.

One of the 1st pics clicked was displayed. What I saw was a freak!! It had two heads and four hands!!! It could not be me for sure  Gulp!! My dreams of looking like Julia Roberts were shattered....forget it.. it wasn’t even close to her old pug’s features :(

The optimist in me dared for a second click!! That was a disaster! Three eye brows and I looked worse than Krur Singh!!(the most popular villain in the epic Chandrakantha)

Shutter speed, exposure, modes everything was greek and latin to us!!! We did spend a lot of time researching about this model,though practically it wasn't that easy to handle. To hell with it!! Both of us were completely flabbergasted!
The big holes in our pockets were still fuming and we remained aghast not knowing what to do with that good for nothing Canon Baby!!

The weekend was spent as judiciously as possible! Skipped the usual dine outs to compensate for the lost thousands!!! Minds kept muttering "What a squandering”!!
Monday went on as usual with routine chores..got back home to see the frown gone off from my better half’s face. For a change after one week he looked delighted ,and then with a twinkle in his eyes explained to me that Canon was organizing a 2days beginners Training Program, for proud owners of their Product!:) We are looking forward to the weekend to attend the session which we anticipate will enhance our photography skills and enable us to handle our new Canon baby!!! I’ll get back with few good shots later!!!

Well, I used to be tigress kicking up tantrums at home every other minute but a lamb the minute I step outside the house during my school days....Not a "smart kid" is how I would assess myself if smartness is measured in terms of the quantum of energy released!!! This happened when I was in std 1.Me getting embarrassed is not something new,it started right from class One, when one day Sister Cicilia, my class teacher, decided to vehemently make me participate in a drama for the Parents day Celebrations at school!!
Practice sessions started full swing and the only dialogue I had to say in that skit was "What happened to you Tom"?

Everyday I used to get back home and recite the dialogue and mom used to teach me the exact expression and the way it had to be rendered. Since then any one who comes home was greeted by me asking "What happend to u Tom?" with bizarre facial expressions....Well they couldn’t do or say anything much but just look at me and my parents with loads of sympathy.
To be honest I enjoyed the practice sessions at home and when enquired why I was going on repeating the same dialogue at home ,Mom would humbly say “she’s having a skit next week for which she’s practising”!! And immediately I would enact my sequence…Believe me I just loved to show off my acting talents ;)

Sister Cicilia had given me the list of stuff to be purchased for the skit.The inventory included paraphernalia like a pair of white open shoes, Light blue skirt ,white shirt, blue hairband ,blue earrings and white stockings!!! That weekend mom and I went shopping and I was seen crying inside every other shop as I had my own choices and mom wanted to adhere to what sister had listed out.I either didn't like the blue color,or wanted micky mouse on the hairband ,else was unhappy with the white shoe and demanded blue instead. Well Mom had a tough time dragging me out of each shop as I used to scream out loudly when she said 'No' for my ‘out of the ordinary’ demands ... Tired of my tantrums, mom and dad decided to go shopping without me and got all that Sister Cicilia wanted me to have !!

The 'D' day arrived and I was all set with the right expression and style of dialogue delivery-it was more like one eyebrow raised a bit, cheeks to one side and then with the correct accent ask "What happend to you Tom?"
Back in the green room I was forced to put all that makeup which I hated.Big pink round patches on either side of my cheek ,ideally supposed to make me look like a blushing cute kid (which I never was!)...and all that foundation which never matched my complexion...I looked like a kid who had just fallen into a bucket of flour and my reflection in the mirror startled the life out of me! Mom was beside watching them torture me...and finally whatever she could wipe off my face she did before I could step on to the stage. I was extremely fagged out after this perturbing session and mom blessed me with a 'good luck' and said "your father and I will be watching you from there...do well"!!

Finally on stage we all were positioned at our respective spaces before the curtain was raised... and I could see Sister Cicilia on her toes ,totally tensed as the skit was about to start off. I saw a huge crowd before me as the curtain went up and all eyes were glued on us. I wondered where my mom and dad were seated. I was hungrily waiting for my mom to wave at me,how ever hard I tried I couldn’t find them among the audience .I felt that they had left me alone and had gone back home...my mind muttered..."How rude...how could they leave me here on this stage and go off..."!! I was disturbed, thoughts chased thoughts..I wondered if they had all gone to the museum(my favorite hang out during those times) without me?? That reminded me of my previous weekend at the trivandrum museum where I ate cotton candy for the 1st time..i could still feel the taste at the tip of my tongue and while I was enjoying the flavor of it,i could hear Sister Cicilia screaming out from back stage...”Hey you....speak up”!!! Pinky who was near me pinched me.I wondered whom they were referring to ,and I could see the curtain going down.. The burlesque was over!!!!
Fuming Sister Cicilia marched towards me, pulled my ear and asked me "What were u dreaming, girl?? Why didn't you speak up???”!!!
I was thunderstruck!! Before I realized, it was all over ....the curtains came down....I did not deliver the dialogue.... As I stepped out of the stage I could hear Sister Ciclia cribbing about me big time to the other teachers ...I couldn’t just take it when Jobin (who was my enemy in class )chuckled at me with that stereo typed sad expression of his!! I was isolated and my friends gave me disgusted looks and there I saw mom walking towards me.I was soo happy to see her and just ran towards her and hugged her tight and cried my lungs out :( I could only tell her in my weeping language that I forgot about the skit while looking out for her and dad among the mass.I didn't have to waste my time justifying my act to her as she knew me pretty well.As always moms forget and forgive soon..but Sister Cicila never did!!!
A month after this we had Christmas celebrations at school..Sr Cicila was still upset about her skit which was screwed up..but made sure she never gave me a chance again!!! But here Iam still craving to get on stage and ask "What happened to you Tom"? 

Seldom do I get time to be alone at home...even when i was a kid I always had people around me irritating me ,pampering me, scolding me advising me and so on that I never got time for myself.
But these days whenever Iam alone I spend time as judiciously as possible…

Few of the activities that I get drawn in are

Looking at the mirror and enacting few scenarios like the ones below:

-Imagine to be the CEO of my company and address the workforce on discipline
-Do performance appraisals and explain why he/she has been rated so badly
-Metaphorically scream at the lady whom I hate at office and tell her everything that I had to tell her right on her face (which I envisage is on the mirror)
-Enact movie actresses and their affectations when interviewed.Iam sure my mirror if it could,would have spat on me seeing me facing it with loads of attitude and an eye brow raised (habitually my target would be Rakhi Sawant)!!
-Make all possible monkey faces,boo,rather hoot at myself..
-Try out all old bits and pieces of clothes and make a new style.. typically ends up to be something like Malaika Aroras outfits, which I wont even dare to wear and walk out.
Once i get bored of all these I...
-Go through my contact list stored on my mobile, call up all my friends whom ive not spoken to for months and irritate them asking why they never bothered to call me..(well did i call them is out of question;))
-Try out the Hips Don’t Lie steps and then realize how inflexible Iam or rather how rigid my bones are..
-Uncanny hair dos for which I have my own names like ‘shocky, cranky, dog licked, mountain, monkey ,fountain and so on which only results in emptying the bottle of hair Gel
-Keeping my ear close to the wall rather stuck on it, when the couple next door starts off their fighting spree..they usually puke words on eachother which I would have never ever heard in my life ,Listening to them helps me improve my 'vocabulary' is what i feel :)
-Watching the most boring movie ever….
-Shoot mails to some of those who publish articles on the editorial columns of magazines(basically to criticize or appreciate and mostly it would be to irritate them ;))
-Spend time on writing blogs about every other aspect of life
-Stare at my wardrobe and realize that it badly needs a sorting done…and then simmer down to the conclusion that it can still wait..

These i think are tested and proven ways of wasting time which i really enjoy

Sometimes being lonely helps me understand the real me and it gives me a chance to be everything I wanted to be in my wildest dreams. Be it a CEO ,an actress ,a writer ,an orator, a dancer and what not… I enjoy such short periods of loneliness just for the sake of that momentary happiness it gives me… 

Being unwell on a weekend is something more tormenting than missing out my favourite biriyani
This weekend was completely spent in dribs and drabs at home when I had ‘n’ number of plans scheduled
Meeting up with friends, gossiping, shopping ,get togethers, and so on were programmed in my mind..

I had the weekend hysteria starting from Friday and so decided to work from home. Working from home was more or less like enjoying the weather having a nice cup of coffee, watching Tv, smirk at those who would be working hard at office, and at times, rather when I feel like, twitter into the laptop screen when work pops up!
With the lap top on my lap ,and eye focused completely on the movie I dint want a soul to disturb me ,as I was completely engrossed in that comfort posture

Soon felt a kind of body throb which ran through my rib and went down the spine…a small tap on my elbow with the remote hurt me..and started getting a strong headache….God!!!whats happening to me???…am I falling sick?? My get together????…eeeks!!!

Decided to go take rest as I had slept late the previous night since was watching a movie ;)
No matter what I couldn’t take it easy…head ache was aggravating every hour and I some how couldn’t bear it…I hate taking tablets…but here I was forced to..had a paracetamol and after hours of struggle I dozed off..I was woken up by around 9.30pm when the door bell rang and that was my husband..i opened my eye and realized that my head was heavy and I wasn’t still out of the pain..
Hospitals are always a no no for me but since I welcomed my husband puking right in front of him ,.he decided to take me to the hospital.

Manipal hospital being the nearest we decided to go there..since it was 10pm ,only the casuality was open for consultation and there were only emergency cases.I stepped in and I could see people on ventilators, oxygen cylinders gasping for breath and some were infact struggling for their life..

I was quite sure if I had uttered the word ‘headache’ there one of those suffering patients would have got up and slapped me left and right. My headache was nothing when compared to the ailment they were suffering.I decided to walk out as the doctors had more serious patients to look after..

Next day visited a local clinic as the pain still persisted and puking continued…doctor there asked me if I were working in IT sector and whether I always sit in front of the computer…Needless to say any IT employee would do the same..he chuckled and gave me a look which meant ''Very Simple issue''!
He termed this kind of strong headache as Migraine!! Mainly caused due to stress..Wonder how watching movie and enjoying the weather would inculcate stress in me!!

Any way the end result is Migraine ruined my weekend, factually wrecked it... And all what I have to tell u my dear migraine is ’Don’t u dare come again!!!!!’

Jotting down depressing thoughts was one of my hobbies when i was a kid...I guess the frequency of scribbling on those old diaries was more when i was between 13-16yrs

A fight which hits the roof when my bro gets a fish fry or a chicken piece which may be an inch bigger than mine, The day the report card decides to be inside the bag and not come out until threatened by the class teacher, when mom speaks abt bro getting a higher pecentage than mine when he was in my grade,getting beaten up for lying or breaking things at home...were few instances which made me act as if i were the most popular poignant biographer...

These were the times when a heart broken me starts squiggling on a diary..
It comprises everything in the world..complaints,thoughts,sadism,blame worthy mistakes by others..and few stuff like the ones below :)

-Most of the nursery rhymes i have learnt
-How to be more cheeky at school
-'Flame'tests with all popular movie stars
-Pencil sketches of those pple whom i hate..They will obviously have horns and fangs!!!
-Cribbing about mom standing by my bro always
-My own poems and stories..
-Imagining myself to be an adopted daughter and declaring 'iam' after a fight at home.
-Commiserate and imagine how lonely iam in this world
-Calculate the marks that i may get after an exam which i would have done as horrible as possible
-Number of dresses i have and how many more my brother has..Just to cook up a fight
-About mom comparing my marks to that of the most brilliant girls and accusing me for not learning from them..
-Count of my total number of friends, list them out and highlight those whom i hate
-Persuade God to Punish my mom and dad for denying me the most expensive stuff that i would have demanded
-Hiding my brothers most treasured bits and pieces and making a note of where i have hidden it, at the same time ensuring that i will never return them
-List the number of people whom i hurt and justifying why..

and the list goes on.....

It all stopped when one fine day i saw my diary contentedly enjoying the company of my family members making them laugh and mock at my scribbled feelings....i had forgotten to keep it locked and my nosey bro published it and even the neighbours face seemed as if they knew my innermost feelings!!!

i still have those diaries and as i go through the pages my mind takes a long stroll through the years i grew up.....Trust me it was a good walk through....!!!

This box right in front of me reminds me of many things..I had almost forgotten about this...but now feel like peeping into it just to revive an instance which happend about 18-19 years ago...

I remember me being chased all through the house by my mother for a tooth of mine which was found wobbling since few days, and playing with that shaky piece of dead bone was fun for me. i used to insert my tongue between the tooth,mimick the 80 year old lady who just had one tooth which was of my condition...i just dint want to lose it inspite of knowing that my mom was behind me to take it off....

and yes...shes caught hold of me..My tooth assasin(mom) grabbed me and placed me on her lap..just not letting me jump out inspite of my constant wriggling and occasional bites on her fingers with the tiny incisor i had on the other side ...

No matter what she was all set to pull out the tooth and i couldnt do anything much but use my weapon...'tears'!!!! i cried out aloud as if she was trying to strangle me to death....there was no use as all at home were quite well versed with my tantrums...

Finally she managed to pull it out after a lot of physical and mental torture .. and there were drops of blood on my frock and on the floor...i imagined the heroine of the movie i saw the previous day, die after puking blood.....and i felt i was in the same situation..how could my mom do this to me??? i increased my tone, cried loudly sympathysing myself....and there she comes with a bottle of water for me to wash my mouth...I just wudnt!!I wanted to take revenge by showing the blood stains to my father...(who pampered me more than anyone else) as i expected him to bash up my mom for being so cruel to me!Well those were just expectations which never happend!

I finally was forced to wash my mouth and my plan just dint work..God was with mom.She got what she wanted..My favourite tooth!!!.After the crying session which lasted till i got my Dairy milk my mom showed me my tooth...a tiny white seed like thing which amused me ...Eeeks got scared when i looked at the mirror and smiled as i had a hole right in center of my denture! Started off cribbing again about losing my 'Hema Malini' looks(psst i was an ardent fan of hers when i was small;))

Well somehow mom convinced me that its gonna comeback and ill get my old smile back!!!

That tiny tooth which is still treasured in this box makes me nostalgic..Looking at it Iam still wondering why i cared for that small fang so much even after knowing that i would get a better one soon....Strange!!!

Relispray and tiger balm are usually replenished without fail at home whenever the stock gets over..I think thats used more these days by my better half than food!..Well now please dont think that its cos I frequently bash him up!!!

Muscle spasms,back ache,sprain are friends who vist him every now and then!Hes lost without these ailments! The point here is these are well invited by himself!
A jump which makes his head knock the ceiling,gliding from one room to another using roller skates(when the room is just sufficiant enough to occupy a double bed),trying to fly,and stretching himself like the way a cat does once it wakes up from sleep,splitting which results in most of his trousers tearing apart (be it a reid and taylor,blackberry or any brand what so ever),and so called martial art postures which makes one gets so confused and wonder how he is gonna untangle himself from that tangled position!!Well it doesnt end there...but i cant even go on thinking about those horrible scenes to scribble about it!!



As a result Mondays are usually proclaimed a holiday as he needs solid rest after his strenuous activities during weekends!!Well a passion can always be encouraged..but iam perplexed here!! ..Remain quiet ,warn him or just encourage him??? whats my role here?

Well just praying for his bones!!!

Ticklish feeling is something that irritates me to the core and i get angry with whoever who tries to tickle me!!

For a change 'Got up early in the morning' screaming out loud as i felt my hubby had tickled my nostrils!!! all set to pounce back on him i opened my eye just to see him sleep like a lamb! who else was it?? well thought it was a bad dream and was struggling to get back the comfort posture i was in a while ago...Damn it..just cudnt get that cozy position back again!!! To hell with it i woke up cursing the tickler, craving to find out where it was hiding...to my surprise ..there it was on the bed!!! the Bloody tickler..the ugly dirty Cockroach!!!!!

Litrally furious me, slowly crept into the kitchen got that sidey broom and came to the bedroom... PS :hubby still sleeping with the roachy gurl peacefully!!!!!

i aimed with utmost concentration,giving that filthy creature enough time to take its last breath... and with full force...my eyes shut ....gave one tight whack....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaargh!!!!! What the hell??" he roared..not the cockroach but the poor lamb(hubby).
I realised that i missed my target!!! and to my surprise roachy girl was missing!!!!

My better half was hit badly on his face with a broom early in the morning!! But i believe its just a matter of forgiving and forgetting !!! Men are bad these days!! They take all these silly stuff to heart and crib about it the whole day!!!
Thank god i was not in his place.else would have made him feel guilty for a month!!

Any way i guess i bashed him on his nose and his face looked absolutely horrible and i understood he was fumingly incensed!! without giving him time for repercussion, I reminded him that he was getting late and it was time for office :)

i still cudnt give vent to my anger ..That made up innocent look of mine dint last for long as my eyes were running all through the nook and corners of my house to get one sight of roachy girl..just to give her the last supper she deserved!!! Iam still searching...His nose did swell up..but absolutly fine now!!!!

Time for me is 10.19..though its 2.45 on my laptop.. iam forced to follow the time of Brits as i work for them!!! needless to say there is not much work today but some unfortunate souls like me should atleast 'Pretend' that there is something to do..Thats the Rule!!

And in my course of pretention thought would jot down few thoughts that came across my idle mind or would rather scribble on my Blog which was left blank since months after creating the account...And now since iam idle u can put it this way..here are few thoughts that came from a devils Wrokshop!!!!

Born on 7th oct 83 i am the laziest person on earth!! Well i give the credit for that to myself...

Countless adjectives can be tagged along with my name as iam one of a kind!I myself have never met someone more weird than me! but the mask ive bought to cover it up suits me and it does its job pretty well :)

Age isnt a barrier for anything is what i strongly believe and practice!so even though iam married i still be in the company of unmarried souls ..just to make myself feel iam young and also to avoid me nick named as "aunty" !! reminds me of the godrege hair dye ad!!i hate such teasers!

Irritation has its limits..but my husband claims that he can break the Guiness book of world records for being absolutly unaffected by any kind of irritants...thats the art he achieved after staying two years with me..hes got to put on his training shoes again as he still got lots to learn ;) but till date hes been doing a good Job!!!!


An expert in cooking but iam a "hard to get cook"!! cook only when i feel like and else i humbly starve! as and when iam forced to show off my cooking skills i generously make bread omelette and if it has to be some thing beyond that which has to be made with more effort i just make the the requester realise how fat he/she is!!


Reading was always a hobby when iam all set to sleep....two lines are just more than enough for me to get the most desired and contented nap


Break time at office is spent judiciously on gossips! Who grew up the ladder witout working,who looks good and who looks bad,who dresses up well and who doesnt who is going around with whom and who parties more...needless to say breaks are never ending especially if the tea is hot and the gang is of the same frequency..i love breaks with my team!

Being optimistic is something that iam always !! especially when i used to await my maths paper for which i would have derived my own formulas for solving few sums...Optimism strikes hard when my name gets called ...and after seeing the marks it strikes even more harder...my mind tells me" Just chill there is always a next time"!!!!

God exists in my mind and not in idols! not an athiest but strongly disbelieve in idol worship....

Well thats all for a fellow blogger or a a genuine reader to understand who iam and what iam!!

more to follow after a day or two...:)